Wednesday, June 20, 2018

My Pain

I am at a stage to where all I feel is the pain. I am not talking about the pain you have in a muscle where you can take a pill or massage it, and it disappears. I am talking about the master pain you have deep in your heart. The shifting pain that creeks in your joints and haunts you every time you move. It is shocking how things affect you in life and then makes you look at life from a different perspective.

 What causes my pain? Is the pain in my heart caused by a broken heart, wounded by my true love? No! Is the pain in my joints caused by age, explainable in a place in my life? No! The straightforward things about my pains are that I am the only one that can see it in black and white. In short, I am the only one that sees the truth.

 Every day the pain I feel in my joints makes me want to die. I feel like a zombie walking for nothing more than a meal of death and misfortune. The pain in my heart makes me even more depressed to where it cares no more.

 Thank God I hate pain.? If I did not hate pain so much I feel like I may have pushed it over the edge. Like when working on a project. Knowing it is almost done and that last effort is not even worth it. That is why I am still writing this letter. With a deep pain in my heart and joints.

 The black and white help me see colors. Ture colors! Not the colors used to candy coat something to help the ones, pushing my pain, see more green. 

The pain makes me feel infested, with an Alien illness. When I say Alien, I mean Alien from out of this world. The pain has it's DNA change and is smart enough to learn and dodge medicines that are made by our medical system which is a facade in its actual purpose. The only way to kill it is starving it, which makes it hard to do, on the diet which is pushed upon us as we live.

 My pain is an epidemic. The lies posted, make my pain hurt more. This story is not a sci-fi story. This story is not fiction. This story is the truth. Not told by me but by my pain. Help!

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